If God Didn’t Exist

I was reading about the foetal circulation when I had this revelation.

It’s not even a revelation, it’s just putting some thought into something that many people thought before me. What is the proof of God?

Because the more I read in medicine, the more I realise how complex are the human bodies. And I fully support Darwin’s theory, but I also realise that for the level of functionality humans have, there is dash of divinity.

Life is not hard to create. Or maybe it is, if you think about the natural elements that create every cell; taken separately they’re nothing. 60% of myself is just a huge glass of water.

But complex life is… mind blowing! How could CHANCE find that perfect slot, that 1 possibility in a trillion of a trillion of a trillion? We not only exist, we also having beating hearts and a pulse and a nervous system to feel and process and move and also a system that allows carrying children! We have a system that changes a system when we carry children!

And on top of it all, we also have emotions! Emotions!!! How could you put emotions into carbon and oxygen and hydrogen?!? We are basically cucumbers with feelings!!!

So, realising I’m a cucumber with feelings for me it’s a proof God had to put his finger in it! Maybe it’s simplified to an extreme, but I don’t know… have you read the foetal circulation? It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it sure works!

Figuring out life

I’m one of the people with their phone in their hands all the time. That’s a bad habit, I know and I’m constantly trying to correct it.

So one of the things I started doing in the last couple of months is listen to a lot of TED talks and motivational speakers because I feel that would fry my brains less than Candy Crush (which I don’t play). TED talks are extremely variated, but when it comes to motivational speakers I’ve noticed one thing.

That is: a lot of them are bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying they all are, but still if you look from a distance you’ll notice a pretty big trend: a lot of them are white men in their 40s. Ok, yeah, sure, you’ll say there’s nothing wrong with that. And there isn’t but have you noticed how most of them have all the life sorted like they’ve been trained by Ghandi himself? They know EVERYTHING! And most of them talk about past issues they resolved and never mention the current issues they struggle with. That’s a bit of a power thing, isn’t it?

Does that mean I’m going to have all my issues sorted by the time I’m going to be in my mid 40’s? Really?!?!?

So what I’m saying is… I started appreciating more the speakers who choose one area of interest and don’t go from business talking to relationship advise.

Also, I appreciate the ones who can take a challenge. I recently commented on a guy’s video about “the purpose in life” and my comment wasn’t negative, but I was asking a question from another perspective that wasn’t in the video. Now, I know those guys have thousands of followers, but this guy answered to a lot of “thank you for saving my life” type of comments and I thought he’ll get into the conversation. He didn’t and I said, fair enough, yeah sure, he’s busy with the other 1000 comments that are probably waiting for him. The “you’re a God” ones 😒 And then the more videos I saw, the more I realised he kinda seems to do this for his own benefit.

Because sure, motivational speakers are the impersonation of success. You can’t inspire people if you’re not successful yourself, right? Wrong!

I feel so inspired like the silly Anna Akana who’s so cute and sexy and probably guys just want to bang her! She’s young and beautiful and she’s trying to get life and relationships sorted IN THE SMARTEST POSSIBLE WAY! So yeah, I prefer listening to her because she’s more real than that awesome big guy with big brains and big muscles and a big company.

In the end, I’m in my 30’s and I’m still trying to figure out life and do smart decisions and while I’m trying that I’m also doing some stupid ones. And I’m pretty sure that when I’m gonna be I my 40’s I’m still going to have questions and difficulties.

Drag queen dad

I’ve just watched a video about a dad who went on a drag queen “challenge” in order to get closer to his son.

They show him how they pick up this guy in his late 40s who has a gay drag queen son. They show his story and they make him become a drag queen for a night too. It’s all emotional and the father and son love is all obvious on camera.

But in the story the dad talks about the moment when the son comes out as gay. He talks about his thought process. Obviously, at the start there was a lot of self blame and guilt because the dad had a different definition of normality. I’m not going to debate normality in this post, it’s out of the purpose and too vast.

I’m writing about this dad because what impressed me was that he went beyond his own limits for his son. It’s not the effort of putting a roof over his head, or feeding him or sending him to school. WHO and other organisations have clear lists of children’s rights. I’m talking about not giving up on your son or daughter even when they’re grown ups, going down a pathway you don’t particularly like just to bond with them, to accept them the way they are. This dad, who loves playing football in the mud, who’d rather have pints with his mates in a pub, put on make up and a wig and even an effing dress just to understand his son! That’s incredible!

I don’t have any children and I have moments when I imagine how are they going to be when they’ll exist. And of course, there are scrlenarios that I prefer. But what if they’ll turn out to be exactly the opposite of what I imagine?! What would I do then?

After the struggle and the blame and the guilt, I want to believe I’d be a ‘drag queen dad’ kind of mom. Do something you never imagined doing because of your child. That’s love, but also STRENGTH. And that’s the kind of parent I want to be.

Cernobîl

Din 1986, odată cu decesul celor 31 de persoane afectate de explozie și radiații, a murit și acest oraș.

Pe parcursul deceniilor, clădirile au devenit niște schelete ale unei scene postapocaliptice. Dar dincolo de liniștea dezolantă a unui oraș părăsit, ceea ce uitam este ca fauna si flora s-au dezvoltat extraordinar. Mutațiile sunt cauzate de radiații, care au fost cauzate de oameni, dar chiar și așa… îndepărtează oamenii, iar animalele vor supraviețui.

Am văzut un documentar în care arăta vulpițe plimbandu-se printr-o clădire și păsări care își făcuseră cuibul într-un balcon. Mi-am dat seama ca orice am face, planeta va supraviețui. Este o planetă până la urmă.

Dar acum sper că umanitatea se va sinucide până la extincție. Este pentru binele tuturor.

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton